THE ADVENTURES OF REX RODGERS: SPACE GROOM: AN ADVENTURE IN TIME AND SPACE

Today is the day, dear reader, that my life was ruined just because of my lack of punctuality. For it seems there are few worse things than being late to one’s own space wedding. I lay here cradling the lifeless body of the woman who should be my space wife, on what should be a joyous day, but she is, and forever will remain, my dead space fiancé. But alas, I am getting ahead of myself dear reader. Today didn’t start with such sorrow. In fact today started with a thump.

THUMP. That was the sound my body made when it hit the ground after falling off my hover bed. I had set my electric turbo alarm ten minutes early the night before, knowing that I would have a little bit more than being late to work as space senator at the laser senate and resort to contend with. I would be in a world of trouble if I showed up late today. My space fiancé Janine 7 would never let me forget this dear reader. Clones, female ones in particular, have a tendency to never let things go. So like I said, I had set my alarm for ten minutes earlier than usual, but I had forgotten that I had set my hover bed to maximum! When I had sprung out of bed, ready to start the day off on the right foot, I had instead forgotten to switch off my hover bed and ended up falling ten feet to the floor, and knocking myself out! You can imagine the shock I got, dear readers, when I awoke and saw the laser display on my wrist and realized I was now four hours late!

I had no time for anything. Rushing around my gliding cloud level apartment I quickly tried to find the assorted pieces of my outfit and space travel safety gear. Jamming my arms and legs into my smart looking one-piece lycra tux, I barely had time to press the self tie button on my bow tie before shoving my regulation senator class space helmet. Because I was in such a hurry I hadn’t realized what a pain it would be to put on my gloves, jet pack, and boots with my helmet already on but there wasn’t time to backtrack now. Hurriedly going through my safety checklist I remembered at the last minute to grab the bouquet of Neptunian lava roses I bought for my lovely Jeanine 7 last night before heading out the door and onto my launch pad. Lava roses in hand I set the space coordinates in my wrist laser locator and blasted off for the moon.

Jeanine 7 had always wanted a moon wedding ever since reading about them in her space bride magazine so many months ago. I was determined to make it happen for her, because you get married twice, but you only get space married once, and nothing was too much for my little cloned beauty.

Whizzing through the clouds and weaving in and out of sky traffic I swore under my breath. If sky traffic was this bad space traffic must be horrible. And sure enough as I made my way out into the black of space I immediately found myself at the end of a long line of space travelers backed up for what seemed like miles. It turned out that there had been a space accident dear readers! Of all the luck! And believe me when I tell you dear reader, I almost lost it. There wasn’t anything I could do but wait for the space cops to show up and clear everything up. Even my status in the space senate couldn’t grant me a police escort or even access to the moon turbo direct highway. Not since it had been shut down after that incident with the robbery of the galactic savings and loan last year. So many innocent lives…

After waiting for several hours for the wreckage to be cleared out and for people to get moving again I raced to moon wedding hall 9 on the edge of the sea of tranquility. As I drew closer to the great glass dome where my space wedding was supposed to have been held 7 hours earlier I started to be able to make out the shapes of people- guests, catering staff, family, pastor Q-Bot… but something seemed wrong. Was it just my imagination or was everyone laying down? Alas dear readers, how I wish it was my imagination…

I flew right up to the glass. I got so close to that dome I could have touched it and just hovered there. Looking. Looking at their faces, their unmoving faces- their unmoving hands- and in pastor Q-Bot’s case, his unmoving pneumonic tendrils. Now, dear reader, you may want to stop reading and go outside, go walk your lifelike tin dog, go do anything else but continue with my tale. For if you are faint of heart or tear up easily the next bit of information will absolutely ruin you dear reader.

Setting my wrist mounted laser powered scanner to its full power setting I did a quick scan of the room inside the dome. And here is the sad part dear readers, the readings stated plainly- "Oxygen: None. Death: Yes." In the time it had taken me to get there, they had run out of air. It was all my fault my faithful readers. Tears streaming down my face and no longer caring about safety I removed my galactic senate issued laser pistol from my dress holster and aimed it at the dome. Several short bursts shattered the dome completely and I slowly hovered down to the floor covered in the bodies of what where once people I had known, now lifeless. Locating my space fiancé was an easy task because she was the only one wearing the ceremonial neon red of a space bride. I knelt down and gently wrapped my arms around her, rocking back and forth. Only the glass of my helmet separating me from her skin, but also from a freezing suffocation filled death. The death that she had faced not long ago. Without any more reason to live, and wanting nothing more than to feel her face against mine, I reached up, and undid the safety clasps on my helmet…

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
Thanks for reading THE ADVENTURES OF REX RODGERS: SPACE GROOM! Don’t miss next weeks exciting installment and remember kids- KEEP YOUR CHIN UP AND YOUR BLASTERS CLEAN FOR YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE NEXT ADVENTURE WILL REACH ITS SLIMY TENDRILS OUT AND GRAB YOUR ANKLES!!!!